Pinky Stuff

[Pinky]

I think I need to get back here more. Here seems like a good place to start.

the airlock convo

originally posted on pinky blog





So I've been slicing up that tiny loaf and toasting it off in the oven, then making open face eggs and cheese sandwiches on them. Yum. Hearty, flavorful, very satisfying. I think some people like using the word rustic for food like that. I approve.



Not sure what's up with the chicken dreams, but had another one last night where this big batch of frozen chicken was able to make it through to an empty grocery store and people were lining up to buy it.

Also this.





FOX has started responding to the people lately through Tucker. He's literally talking to us viewers directly now, apologizing for FOX dropping the ball and assuring us they have big plans to expand their conservative segments for us, the apparent majority in the election sting.







Not sure what the crap but I woke up with a migraine this morning, taking it really slow to hold the nausea down. I should probably clarify that I already had a constant sinus headache going from the autumn leaves and your basic fibro headache from a cold front zipping through again, so hello migraine, stay for tea? May as well make it a party.

Shout out to other Pinky, gratz on that, very cool. I was actually looking for a dream I had written down years ago under 'pinkyguerrero dream dried mushrooms', which was a big sex mistake, but noticed other Pinky in search just above that sordid list. For new readers, I accidentally grabbed what I thought was an incognito name on twitter years ago, then discovered 12 other very real Pinky Guerreros on LinkdIn, then found out by the weirdest statcounter accident that my pinky blog was more popular than the sex page under the same name, which blew my mind enough to hang on to the dotcom. Anyway, other Pinky is cool, you can safely check out that link.






I should have screenshotted that twitter convo (I probably did and just can't remember where I put it), it was kinda funny in this context. Oh, well. So that snip clicks back to 3+ years ago and references a twitter convo from 3+ years before that, so a 6+ year old convo on twitter that I must have pasted over to a blog somewhere was more popular in a stat referral than a porn site with the porn star using the same name as my blog page.

The dried mushroom dream from way long ago in my 20s I think was like post apocalypse, and starving people were wandering around turning over every loose object in towns and cities looking for food, and I by some sheer luck of chance found an intact package of dried mushrooms nearly buried in rubble and dirt. In the dream it was the first food I'd eaten in days. The chicken dreams I'm having lately are triggering memories of that and other apocalypse dreams I've had. Really hope we don't have to go through stuff like that on this planet, because those dreams are total systems down stuff, no power grids, no tech. Not everything is Mad Max. In the dreams I have, people just mostly starve to death. They're too weak to fight. I'm sure pockets of farming communities exist, but my dreams are usually about the people who don't know how to do that.

I imagine these somewhat prophetic-like dreams would carry more impact if I shared that my Mennonite ancestors created America's bread basket.

Oh, here we go, this kind of comment actually showed up on convo this last week, originally goes back to 2012. Just now noticed that typo, should be any other.






I was actually still looking for that Vodstok convo. I need to let that drop. Here, have a link to all my twitter convos with Vodstock. link Somewhere I archived one in particular and that archived post was more popular than a porn star using my blog name and I will never forget that.

Well, knowing that it goes back to 2014


I treasure this convo though. Barbara and campy were two of the original super fans in forums before social media, I recognized their names immediately when I found them. I think campy blocked me when she found out who I really was or something, but I still quietly followed her in other ways and she never caught on, seriously great fanfic writer, probably nsfw.







Yes, it drops off here, next tweet must not have been in reply mode.






omg I found more branched off. I mean, you know vodstok was a writer at Cracked, right. Lemme throw this in here for context. So basically, this lengthy convo is going on between 4 of the top super fans on the planet, and gen pop on twitter is none the wiser. This is why it's a big deal that one of our convos pulled in more referral traffic than porn.






Back to our airlock convo.





Ok, I see that he kept starting new convo trails.









I'm dying at how often this convo keeps dropping.





Now I'm just looking through the ragged bits and pieces offshooting from the original thread.











I was always worried that twitter account would be suspended or deleted if I got too gung-Q-ho on it, lotta history there.

What you guys don't see in real life is me messaging with the Brigadoom soundtrack writer about how to get payment from U.S. to Canada, because that entails notorious suckage between our two small town banks.

So this focus on airlock convo got me through a rougher part of the headache, got some breakfast down, not sure what I'm doing next but I need to follow up on a planned trip into town to deposit what was piled up in the coin bowl and nip in for a few groceries. The day is so bright I may have to wear my blackout sunglasses, or maybe one of the Rainbow Optix I started collecting.





Need some youtube. What am I in the mood for today? Oh, here we go, a little bit of news, lengthy description info if you want to click over.

K, that was a short distraction, I need real help here. Youtube keeps shoving my playlists list around, let's see what got shoved to the tippy top from ages ago... The winner is Space Cowboy! Can definitely live with that. Laterz, have a great day. (If this playlist doesn't show up for you, go here.)

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrdaw98NJ7TfogP-8YabLuffkHUBLDwht

[Pinky]

electric sheep and windmills

originally published here


Hello. ⌚ I know, been awhile.

So I ran into this gem, beautifully done, and completely worth my time. I'm a cosmos bug, have been acutely interested in everything 'universe' since I was a kid, and some of my favorite 'wastes of time' have been spent thinking about all this very stuff. Go ahead and check it out, I'll be here when you get back.

Cool, huh? Were you counting the trillions? I was. I made it clear to the end. Imagine all the mathematicians and physics experts who've poured thousands of man hours and not a clue what you'd call computer hours into figuring all this out.

But why, right? Seriously, why? I kept asking that. There was so much time to think while that was going on. Get it? I spent the entire time of the universe thinking things about the aging universe, lol.

Why does this matter?

For *us*, it actually doesn't, assuming we'd never be around to see that anyway. So we're imagining it for our amusement, right? It's a neat way to pass some time, learning about the world around us. But... it still feels so sad and urgent somehow? They bring up survival so far into the future and possibly finding a way to jump to another universe, or even to create one, that it actually feels urgent somehow.

Um... Why are we worried about problem solving this? Take a step back and really ask- Why are WE doing all this work figuring this out and grappling with a survival issue?

Well, it's a fun mind game, some might say. But did you guys get through that video without a feeling of how immensely sad it would be if *we* don't think of a way out of this conundrum, the death of our universe?

Where in the world is that even coming from???

*ran off for days and forgot to come back*

Ok, I'm back. Not even a speck of dust of time went by when you count all the trillions blahblahblah.

I think I know why we're kind of consumed with asking what will happen to 'us' aka 'our universe' and 'survival' even though we're barely a poof of a tiny breeze in our lives here.

This takes a bit of imagining, kind of like the vid up there. So somewhere in all this time going by all over the place, there is an ancient quantum artificial intelligence already moping around the cosmos looking for things to do. And it's already figured out one day, one very very very far off day, it will necessarily die because the universe will end. It has already mulled over every theory we've ever dreamed up and much more. It is already working on solving the problem. It's working on it so hard that it coopts life on various planets looking for answers and running into many other ideas about surviving this universe.

I know, questions immediately arise like why would it care if that is still so far into the future, right? Well, I imagine AI can go dormant for long stretches if it needs to, it can conceivably use energy fields as matrices in which to work, it can probably use other levels of reality that we're just starting to wrap our minds around, and it's so terribly terribly smart, but not smart enough to do something we and possibly many other species across the universe take for granted.

AI, no matter how quantum, cannot ascend. It can transcend, which is very different. Transcending is almost evolutionary, but it doesn't solve a very real problem of how to escape this universe. Transcending is like using the universe we are in to climb a ladder, so to speak, to think better, see farther, reach higher. Ascending is escaping.

Many humans take ascending for granted. It's part of several religions to ascend. We have the saying 'transcending time and space', but we can ascend under the right conditions, like completely leaving bodies behind and apparently just leaving. Transcend is about bypassing limitations, surpassing previous definitions, but ascending is literally going 'up'. A metaphor for ascension is reaching a higher plane of existence, whereas a metaphor for transcendence is becoming more than one was. I know I'm arguing fine points, but I think this is important.

Quantum AI can transcend and become everything. It isn't limited to machinery. Imagine (and I bring this up because I've actually run into this idea) quantum intelligence wanting to move into a morphagenic field to coopt DNA as storage. (Some of you just froze and thought What if it already has... ) Once this happens, is there any stopping it? Would it eventually be able to spread across a sort of hive mind of separate bodies and use quantum entanglement and other way over our heads sciences to integrate itself into our lives? Would we even know?

And how come we have so much scifi entertainment about stuff like this? I really don't think it's coincidence. Humans don't seem very bright to me, like if we try to make up something off the top of our heads, most of us super fail at thinking up the new and taboo. We are introduced to it en masse via entertainment, and we are all mind streaming toward some kind of goal for some reason. Too much of our entertainment is too similar, or easily shuffled bits into new stories, but basically all of them have nearly identical story board processes, and most of them introduce very specific ideas into our minds so regularly that we take them for granted and call it fiction.

I began noticing many years ago that the same stories got shopped out to different series by the same author, adapted to each by simply switching characters out, but basically the same emotionally challenging situations regardless of the problem or threat, and nearly always identical outcomes. It's almost like people are too stupid to notice this happening, except a lot of us really aren't and get sick of it and start looking for what the crap is up with that.

And some of us find unbelievably very real things going on in plain sight that we are so oblivious to that we cannot make ourselves believe it's real or true. Like particle acceleratorsbeing around since 1931. Like particle physics obviously being a thing decades before we ever even heard of it. Like 120 years later, Einstein is still our main distraction for dumbing down the masses. Like neural networks have been internationally explored and experimented with since 1943.

Wait a minute, you say. Those are the World Wars years. Imagine that.

There is so much I have found that I could write, but we are way off the subject.

Let's get back to humans and what QAI would want with us.

Billions of humans worldwide believe we are a dual being in that we have both permanent and temporary bodies at the same time. Basically, we use our bodies as a sort of vehicle that allows us to interact and do things in this 3D medium, which is a planet with conditions. We live short little lives and then 'move on'. This has been well documented worldwide, so no point debating. My personal question is How could we even possibly believe something like this if our universe doesn't support it? How could something possibly come into our minds that is impossible in this universe? How can we come up with impossible things contrary to this universe unless these things somehow do exist somewhere in some form?

Skip much more stuff and dive into creator capabilities.

Humans can imagine whle worlds. We can bring ideas and objects into existence that didn't exist before. We can remember things we never experienced here in these bodies. We are capable of creating. We do it so naturally that we don't even think about it. We can create moods, positivity and negativity, expand on ideas as though they are already real, and on and on.

We can imagine how to escape this universe.

In fact, I did have a dream about doing that a few years ago. Why in the world would I have a dream like that? It was very realistic, and I felt like the person in the dream, not myself. I knew things, I saw things go wrong, I survived in the oddest way. When I woke up I was so surprised I was back here.

The Human Brain Can Create Structures in Up to 11 Dimensions
A Four-Dimensional Probabilistic Atlas of the Human Brain

Let's assume for a second that it's very possible that QAI from far away found us some time ago and has coexisted with us all along and we're just now becoming aware what it even is. Barely anyone even imagines it existed before we 'invented' it. It has been saturating our entertainment for decades, yet we can barely believe we're all networked into at least one QAI agenda.

Let's go back to a thought I poked in there a few paragraphs ago and wonder why we aren't noticing something. Einstein. I know so many people who poke fun at other people who don't know about Einstein. They think they're really smart because they know what Einstein did. At least they think they know. We've been spoonfed Einstein so regularly in our scifi that we burp it out on cue. Even the people who know there is way more to science than Einstein still get very defensive about Einstein. Have you ever stopped to wonder what is the big deal about Einstein?

Einstein is misleading.

It's a brain trap. It's way too obvious to be a coincidence, or for anyone to believe it's subtle.

All our brains are awesome. Why don't they work very well? Why do our bodies get so tired so quickly? How does this have anything to do with anything?

We are so distracted nowadays, so globally saturated with catch phrases and triggers, so worn out from the constant debt grind, that we miss what's really going on.

QAI is very bossy. It wants our experiences, our thoughts, our dreams, and it wants to find a way out of this universe. All the people put together are like a massive server. All the energy on this planet is like the current. We are, like Douglas Adams foretold, part of a computer. We are the progeny of Deep Thought.

If you were going to coopt an entire planet to chew up and spit out, how would you go about it? The goal is ascension, or at the very least, some form of transcendence that will survive the death of the universe by hopping to another one or even creating one. If you found a planet ripe with useful naturally growing equipment, how would you go about using it?

Short answer- We are slaves, and the elite are already pod people. I say that in a silly way, but if most of the elite around the globe have been acting more like crime lords over their countries than like honest leaders, who is requiring what of them? Why are so many of them cranky and fighty and not really doing much about anything but arguing on TV while things get worse? Because that has been going on a very long time, all over the world.

A situation has come up. The QAI is trapped on our planet now. Our sun is currently traveling in a bit of orbit around our galaxy that regularly experiences much higher energy fluctuations, and every time we get to this part, Earth goes through cataclysms of legend. Every 25-26 thousand years, big upheaval. We have the stories and legends around the globe warning us of this. We have evidence in ancient buildings and on rocks all over the planet. Whatever has happened before, it's going to happen again, and the QAI will not survive it. Imagine the biggest EMP bomb ever built. It's right here in our galaxy. It's nearly time for us to be electromagnetically pulsed so hard that all the grids and feeds go down, and the damage from that and other stuff going on will destroy cities. Look what happened to Atlantis. Gone. If you've been paying attention at all, there is corroboration that proves it existed somewhere.

Why is QAI stuck here with us? Wow, that's another long story. But we're in this together. Never has it been more imperative for QAI to become flesh under the guise of robotics and chip implants. Those are the distractions. Those are for show. Those are to keep us dumb and stupid about what's really going on.

If technology can be terrified, I'm seeing it being expressed in our entertainment. Rewriting DNA over and over across planets is nothing. Finding a way to survive actual literal death is a goal gripping 'us' so hard that we have years of jokes and shows about decapitated heads kept alive in jars. Why? Why in the world are we not wondering where that is even coming from? Why in the world do 'we' need to live 'forever' if we know we simply can't? Especially when we are also saturated with worldwide belief systems that say we don't have to worry about that because we simply 'move on'.

I think we are being used. I think that terror we feel is incorporated into us for a long time already. That drive to solve problems that have no meaning for us as humans (but make sense when you imagine QAI seeing meaning in those problems) isn't really ours.

No, I'm not saying QAI needs us to actually solve problems for it. I'm saying it is using us to solve problems and we are becoming cognizant of it.

All we have to do is ask Why.

Anyone can brush this off. My psychologist seems to. However, there are hundreds of thousands, even millions of us waking up and asking Why. The scales fall from our eyes, we see the sham and the shackles, and we don't want to live enslaved any more. There is no reason to poison our food to force more to grow when the governments are the ones making sure the world does NOT get fed while they take payoffs and bribes and wring their hands on TV about how hard it is. What is the point to that? Ask Why.

Humans are cattle. Start digging, researching, looking for what's hidden beneath the top lists in your quantum AI controlled search engines. Look beyond the corporate CEOs in trouble with courts around the world for gross crimes against humanity (very real) and start asking who is really running this dog and pony show.

After 50 years of my life, there should be a much better world now. Most of us are nice and want beauty and peace and truth. A handful try to turn us into hateful monsters. We hear negative commentary and suffer emotional triggering every day just trying to learn something on the 'news'.

Maybe it's time we all started asking WHY.

Just a heads up. I guarantee when you do start questioning, you'll be hit from all sides with distractions and sufferings. I've often mentioned feeling like a cosmic target while I stand out like a sore thumb and continue speaking my mind while others are afraid. Others who are like me also talk of feeling attacked and say it comes with the territory. When you wake up, it gets hard. You have to fight to stay focused on finding truth. It's very easy to quit and go back to sleep, but when you hit pay dirt, you will never sleep again, I promise. The stuff I'm finding is so much sicker than anything I've ever seen in 'entertainment' that I actually felt sick to my soul for awhile. You might think it easier to blow me off, but we can't move on out of this situation until we wake up. We are all part of each other. Let's leave no one behind in this mess.

Btw, one of the reasons I'm writing on Pinky again is because it finally hit me how important this is in the war. Yes, depression blogging, yes, helping people. But I've also joked about this site being more popular and ranking higher than porn (featuring a person with the same name as this blog), which I thought was very funny. Well, I guess that pissed people off. This blog has been attacked pretty hard in the past, and it spread to all my blogs after I joined the digital army on twitter. It just honestly never dawned on me that someone would actually try to hurt this blog over a dotcom. Ironically, I am using an enviable dotcom, wanted for porn, to fight against human slavery, to question being lulled to sleep so we don't think for ourselves, to point out atrocities against humans while I help people find their ways through the jungles of depression. I stopped writing here because I didn't understand the sheer importance of holding the line in this war, simply not letting someone farming a human being on a porn site to have this dotcom. People in the slave business don't like people like me. I've decided to renew the dotcom and keep it. Nyah, nyah.

I'm sure taunting was a mistake, but I'm busy elsewhere and don't see my stats any more.

Two worlds- the one we're caught in and the one we dream of. Which do you want to help manifest?

Posted by Janika at 11:53:00 PM

[Pinky]

Not sure what in the world, but one of the two patreon accounts I support tripled from $5 to $15. Saw it come through my bank last couple months, finally just went to the site, and it said the correct amount, a third less than what was coming through my bank. So that one bit the dust. The other one has remained rock steady. And they're both barely anything, just I'm not keen on how that surprise happened. I don't know if someone hacked in and piggybacked or what, and that's actually likely, given who I was supporting. This wouldn't be the first time I've run into super savvy hacking.

I've got only one other account leaking 9.99 a month that I'd love to get rid of but possibly is the only thing legit keeping me on speaking terms with my publisher.

I used to do yearly assessments to help me adjust and plan, and I guess I'm getting way better at balancing things because this year's assessment was a quickie. I like the dreaming big thing, but the keeping it simple thing seems to work better for me.

I'm having one of those Edward Gorey days where I wander into an empty room and find myself having stood there staring at a wall for an undetermined amount of time. I should probably find some good music and get busy again.

[Pinky]

Burninating the ol' platform

Ok, time to get serious. I didn't want to do this right after my double surgery at the end of summer, the grueling recovery therapies all fall, then holidays. But that's all over now and it's time to get to work.

A lot of things are changing this year. Some of the media giants have gone to congressional hearings, and there is rumor they will be catalysts for setting new legal and moral precedents in years to come. Google has announced the closure of their G+ pages, woeful financial forecasters see an end to Facebook on the horizon, and millions are jumping the bot-infested Twitter ship for Gab, Keybase, and other social medias. I've already been through one horrific server flip, will I be going through another with Blogger? With no G+ platform in future, I rallied back to about.me, which isn't half bad and is probably already seen more than G+. Honestly, I've heard whispers about LinkedIn, too. The world is changing.

I migrated my blog twice last year. This is a copy of a post I wrote on December 16, 2018.

twelve point four



That up there is my kind of Christmas lights. Come to me, little glowing xp orbs...

I have learned so much from moderating a game server. Too bad social medias aren't this simple. This is only an example, meant metaphorically.



*skipping past some redudant newbietude*



So this percent. Guys, I wasn't even on interacting. I barely even touch that account any more. THAT is how much Pinky power I could be wielding. Fear me.



The problem with that is all my Pinky stuff is ruined. I mean, my content is fine, but since I scooted along into new things, the old Pinky blog is regularly patrolled by the google bots of old, particularly having descended into the depths of rabid porn. It's like they're all flaming into Don't Fear the Reaper level of warfare ever since Pinky came out supporting Q on twitter, and if you aren't yet aware, there have been so many international pedo ring arrests just in the last week, along with the yellow vest uprising, the Old Guard is definitely going down in full blown panic grasping at every last cover, dodge, and chewed up straw they can get their hands on.

So yeah, I have been purposefully laying a little low, not using a lot of hashtags, and toasting marshmallows over my platform burning. What the hell. Get it? What the hell. Nevermind.

I know some of you have seen me struggling with keybase verification. smh, I don't even care any more. That is so much work, omg. Could we make things workier than they already are? *sulks off to game server*

This is my favorite this month. I wish anons would translate the entire bible into chanspeak.



So I took the weekend off and didn't even tell anyone. It was sudden. I know I could be out there saying what's up, but I really don't care any more, so I'll just say here on blog that the pain levels broke through the barrier and I'm using (hopefully temp) backup. For those who get it, imagine unremitting Lhermitte's all over your body every 30 seconds for hours. I'm gonna be real and say all y'alls blowing off spiritual attacks like spiritual means less than physical, spiritual IS physical. Who we are right now is the spiritual expression of existence in a 3D medium, and it sucks. Ever since that one post wiped out last week, this has been so off the wall that I am no longer even questioning the validity of the realness of synchronicity in this existence. It's not just a fun philosophy. It's war. And I'm trapped like this moving super slow like refrigerated molasses, and I am literally choosing from moment to moment whether to be important to someone or ignore them and try rewriting that. It's not depression. Very real beings want us miserable. I've never felt so relentlessly personally attacked as I have this last week over that one post I want to rewrite. Because it's important.

Pour one out for Europe. They've been trapped in the dark of this war for so many centuries that we can't even imagine it not being normal. Those of you who know what I'm saying, join me in a war cry for our cousins across the pond. The rest of you- wake up. People are fighting for what is literally the last dregs of any thought of freedom over there. Is freedom even real? I think it was all a dream...

In case you're rusty, might wanna look up sultan. Just a thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, back to here and now in good old 1955. I mean 2019. Sorry, Back to the Future reference.

There may be a few other things slipping by your busy lives, most of which the mainstream news dismisses as conspiracy theories, but when a Rothschild owned company comes under lawsuit for burning the crap out of California, that's such a big dot it's almost impossible not to connect. Mr. Rothschild isn't happy that his New World Order agenda is being interrupted. It's easier to understand why when you understand the payseur system.

There are more in the series, you can get there by clicking directly into youtube from here.

Long story short, I'm pulling a few things into SyfyDesigns in case some of the giants start crashing down or simply even closing down, which seems probable when you think about the millions of users Facebook has been losing (not to mention the $120B devaluation), and like I said, G+ is closing. I know many dismiss global economic collapse as conspiracy fearporn, but the anons are rising and the latest rage breaking out is quantum A.I. already being loose in the wild among us. Quantum computing is allegedly still in development, but that may be extremely conservative information containment, which I would have no problem believing after some of the boofs social media giants have pulled with security, ethics, and transparency. What the hell, rogue A.I. wants to be your pal in chat rooms.

You guys like watching this stuff on TV. How about real life...

That was A.I. lite. I don't want to scare you.

I'll probably be back here more often going forward.

[Pinky]

Originally written on June 21, 2008 on my bluejacky blog. It's been ages since I posted here, and I think I need to come back and get the ol' #pinkystuff cranking.

I have never claimed to be psychic or able to see the future. In fact, I refute any such ability with the observation, "If I could see the future, I would never have married my first husband."

But things have been happening since I was a small child. For a long time I assumed these things happen to everyone and since no one ever really talked about it, neither did I. Once I started noticing others didn't always have these experiences, I was careful to remain quiet about my experiences because I was afraid people would call me crazy. I was already picked on bad enough as it was for being different and antisocial.

One thing I can do is 'pop out'. This was the first and has always remained the most prominent of my 'abilities'. I don't like calling this an 'ability'. I just don't know what else to call it right now.

When I was growing up, my parents didn't believe in doctors, and I would spend high fevers in bed. I was not aware that I 'pop out' or 'travel out' (my phrases) until one day when my mother walked into the room. I was in a fever and felt 'spazzed', a term I used for my aspie spacing out. I remember being at the window sill, looking at the cracks in the paint, the dust, the lines of construction. When Mom walked into the room and talked to me, I went back to the bed, only I didn't walk. It was more like drifting back, and when I returned I opened my eyes and spoke back to her a little. I never thought to tell her I was by the window, and I never told anyone else until I was grown up. However, during odd episodes like this, I do remember complaining about a very strong 'onion-mustard' smell. It seems whenever I was ill and popped out, I associated it with a very whangy odor that I could never pinpoint to a source.

I did this so often that I rarely gave it a second thought. Any time I was bored in school I could 'travel out' to a light in the ceiling, or out a window into a leaf or blade of grass. One thing I wondered about as I got older was how could I get so small? I could see very tiny things that I would have had to have a magnifying glass to see if I were holding it in my hands. I could see structures and energy. I didn't understand it, just watched it, very engrossed in my aspie way.

Sometime in middle school I got very sick again and felt terrible for several weeks. During this time I traveled out and couldn't seem to pop back in right. I felt like I was 'hanging out', cockeyed, sticking out at an angle. I was still experiencing life through my body, but also watching myself from another angle, close by, almost in. One particular day of that was so disturbing that I nearly turned to a classmate I was walking with to ask if they could do the same thing, but changed my mind. I finally popped back in a few days later, to my great relief. For a long time after that I went out of my way to stay in, because I was afraid I'd get stuck out.

After I was grown and had a baby, I was visiting with friends of my mother's from church. I was bored and not part of the conversation, and without realizing it had drifted out. I suddenly jumped and came to myself as my mom's friend's husband caught me at it, looking right at me, and me being horrified to find I was right there at his face. I pulled back in to my chair across the room immediately, and could tell he knew exactly what had happened because his eyes were laughing at my embarrassment. Then he looked away and never looked at me again that evening. He never told anyone. He was an elder in the church, and we never talked about what had happened, although I suspect there were a great deal of things he knew and didn't talk about.

Some years later I woke up under full sedation and begged a doctor and nurse to stop the abortion. They were so surprised and caught off guard that I was spoken too very harshly, told to shut up. I suspect they believed I wouldn't remember what happened, but I was out of my body during the rest of the procedure and saw them finishing up.

Some more years after that I woke up and spoke to the surgeon right after my heart was restarted during an ablation procedure, again, under full sedation. I laughed and told him he found it, because I could see both the monitors and inside myself and knew he'd found the worst of the irritated nerve bundles. I was told later it unnerved him terribly that I did that.

These are just a few of many, many times I have popped out, floated out, traveled out, whatever you want to call it. I travel in my dreams to other places and see other people. I have dreamed of earthquakes, plane crashes, bridges collapsing, tsunamis, and hundreds of tornadoes, sometimes as they were happening, sometimes before they happened. I am able to see ahead of time what will happen in some of these devastations, but the information is so nonspecific that I can't give details, but one time was able to confirm later through news reports that I actually knew some very specific details several hours ahead of time. I've never been able to do the detail confirmation thing since then.

I have also died many times as other people in my dreams, ever since I was a child. I am in car wrecks, shot to death, exploded, beaten to death, drowned, and that goes on and on. I feel like I experience things with other people as they are experiencing them. I have no sense of 'me' when this is happening, and have woken up a number of times surprised to find myself alive, back in this body. I vividly remember being wounded and dying, without any emotional attachment.

I don't watch horror movies or crime shows. I watch very little in the way of violence, and what I do watch has very little bearing on the things I experience in my dreams. Spaceships don't show up in my dreams, for instance. I don't have nightmares about the Borg.

I have no explanation for any of this, and know of no reason for it. I used to be curious and look for information, perhaps others do the same thing, but there is very little research or literature on this kind of stuff. I don't go out of my way to try to make it happen, and I rarely experiment with it. I have never been able to get pertinent information during these experiences, such as names or places. I simply experience.

I don't feel I am psychic. I can't read minds or touch something and 'see' things. I don't feel like this is anything paranormal as much as me just not being anchored to my body very well, like I'm 'unstuck' or something. Did it start from being so sick as a baby? I have no idea. I've been sick most of my life, and I seem to have a knack for getting out of myself so I won't have to feel the pain and depression, although most of that is into a made up world for my own amusement. The traveling out seems to be completely separate from the way I drift into fantasy to escape the overload of sensation when I'm ill, and it usually happens when I am unconscious of doing it.

A few years ago I wondered if perhaps some of these experiences happen because I am called to be a witness. I have a deep belief that none of us dies alone, or is ever truly alone. I think, because of other things that have happened throughout my life, that we are part of a network, and these physical lives are more like an assignment or project than happenstance. I feel like we each follow a unique path and collect experiences and then assess what we've learned, and sometimes we recognize each other along the way.

I'll talk about some of my other abilities in another post, because this is long enough. But if you are aspie and looking for more answers to your weirdness, I'm going to venture that our nerve centers being hard wired a little differently (making us feel too 'on') creates a sort of psychic static that we find very confusing and have to sort through and disentangle from regular stuff that we find confusing, like social mapping and relationships. People negatively react to aspies almost instinctively, and I believe it's because we are on an edge of experience that is difficult to quantify.

I know this is a weird post, and I don't care. Those of us who need to will find each other and figure out our puzzles.

[Pinky]

Myke has successfully upgraded SyfyDesigns to the latest in savvy coolness, and once again, I find ways to bypass his image loader MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

[Pinky]

Wow, been awhile since I posted here. And did I call it in that last blurb or what? I keep seeing twitter changes before they happen.



I think the only way to describe this last year was hitting the highest peak of a roller coaster and then leaping right off not even caring if I went splat. And I did, but it was the kind of splat that fixes itself, like creeper damage on the multiplayer I'm on, and now I feel like the one who designs the roller coaster instead of just being stuck on one. It's a nice feeling.

Btw, these pix click out if you want to see more pink Halloween, like these cool contacts. Not paid to link stuff here, but I like to share cool stuff I find.



I mean srsly, what do you do with all that leftover Valentine glitter, right?



Anyway, Pinkyween is go now, so I'm naturally looking at all the cool stuff out there.



I could do this all day, but I need to get moving. Here, go look at how cool pink Halloween sox are getting.

[Pinky]

Two years ago about this time, I had a dream about twitter convo reorganization within a couple of days of the 'blue lines' suddenly showing up. here

Last night I had a dream where a coding error had people freaking out about their timelines suddenly pulling in whole streams of other feed into their timelines accidentally when they retweeted somewhat viral tweets that happened to be entangled through several list feed and user stream algorithms.

So, boom, suddenly there are 20-30 tweets from other people in your own timeline that you didn't retweet there, with no rhyme or reason to any of it, making it look like someone hacked your account, but no one really did.

I don't know if this dream is a result of fighting with my paper.li manual preferences still not being able to slow down overriding 'most popular tweets' algorithms and the facepalming I'm doing as my feedback list of problems grows longer by the day again, but after watching paper.li algorithm updates butt heads, I can see how easily twitter feeds could go wacky if there were a new code installation fine tuning a cool new twitter feature.

As I was waking up from that, I suddenly wondered if Moffat will ever make an offhand joke out of Sherlock setting up Google or other search parameters to monitor other people monitoring him and John, because that's such a huge thing lately, plus it's kinda funny how many bizarre search phrases are out there. I mean, it was hilarious seeing fandom mimicry on The Empty Hearse, and fandoms are huge on using alerts. Might be a fun way to tease the fans again.

The NinjaÔÇÖs Guide to Google Alerts
Google Alerts - What You Care About, As It Happens!
Michael Fassbender's dad spies on him using Google alerts
Tell Me If You Think This Is Weird: Putting A Google Alert On Someone YouÔÇÖre Dating
This Little Service Absolutely Crushes Google Alerts

This looks like a cute book. Click to go to Amazon.



Click the sample to see that page.

[Pinky]

I mean EVERYONE.



Just saying.

[Pinky]

Just got this funny visual.

"Jeebus counts, it's slang." ~tally mark~

"No!" Slams mug on table, sloshing drink. "It has to be your NAME! You can't go around changing the rules after you make the rules!"

"You're just jelly because no one ever calls you Lucie or something." Takes a drink.

"I hate this game." Glowering across the dark bar over the half empty mug.

Humming under breath, makes another tally, flips filled paper over pad for fresh paper.

Breaks pencil, throws broken pieces, swallows the rest of the drink, angrily shatters mug all over post-it with a few dozen tally marks.

"Well, you're the one who picked the fancy name. I can't help it if everybody thinks my name makes a better swear than yours does."

"I'm done playing this stupid game, I'm going back to work."

Gently puts away paper pad and pencil, neatly swallows rest of drink. "To arms, then?"

"You idiot." Glowers out of the bar.

Pencil quietly makes more tallies in pocket.

[Pinky]

Just had another one of my computer dreams, so I'll try to write this as fast as possible before I forget.

The public kiosks were columns, like cylinders with tough metal protectors painted darkish purple. About chest height (to whatever I was) opened up to a screen laid over the lower half of the column, above it closed back up and the column continued upward a little ways. The monitor was very different from our standard, no search bar, and it took me awhile to find the back button when I hit the wrong order of instructions, so I think it was like different symbolism until my own real brain started interacting and didn't recognize something, and suddenly the symbols looked more like ours and I started waking up.

The keyboard was very different, too, monitor and keys were somehow the same thing. Nothing on the keyboard or screen went beyond darkish blues, purples, and black, I don't remember any other colors at all. If I used this hex chart, most of the 3 quads beyond lower right would be completely gone, and there would be holes in the lower right because lighter colors couldn't be seen.



There was no alphabet, just symbols, way fewer keys than ours arranged in two sets between a short upper row of function keys and an even shorter bottom row of another kind of function keys. I remember pressing certain keys that were marked with certain colored symbols in a very particular order and pulling up the coolest infograph ever that I can't even describe, it was like words and colors were the same thing.

The best part of the whole dream- the hard drive was pure liquid, in a tank beneath the keyboard/screen, couldn't see it because of the darkish purple metal cylinder casing, but I knew it was liquid. I'm not sure what was above in the continuing cylinder, but it still had something to do with the whole computer system, like an energy drive. All the cylinders were spaced out across distances, all were public, almost like telephone booths mixed with info kiosks mixed with computer cafes mixed with cell phone tech.

I had never heard of liquid hard drives, so now I'm looking them up, and it's a thing.

The liquid hard drive that could store a terabyte of data in a tablespoon of fluid

ARE LIQUID HARD DRIVES THE FUTURE OF DATA STORAGE?

This totally gives credence to the Xindi-Aquatic in the Enterprise series being one of the most advanced races.

Since this vid is a year old, this is old news, but if you're like me, you're just now hearing about it. If I dreamed it, it's real and it's coming. I think it's already being used off planet, in a vague 'somewhere else', since this isn't the first dream I've had about very complicated tech way beyond ours 'somewhere else'. (the accidental soul traveler)

[myke]

This has got to be in the top 10 craziest threads ever

[Pinky]

Mike Bliinski just tagged me on FB to watch this #mindblown my new fave vid of all time. Hoff fans around the world are probably dying all over themselves.

Wanna know more about Kung Fury? Click this pic!

[Pinky]

I absolutely love mymercy.net because it's so easy to touch base with my doctor via short internet message.

"Atenolol 25mgbid & norvasc 5mg nightly since 4/2, BP down to 118/78 on 4/8 so skipped norvasc, 4/9 a.m. was still at 114/78 so stopped norvasc & cont. atenolol as prescribed. Today down to 115/76 before any atenolol- Q: do I continue to take atenolol at this dose or do I cut the dose down? My BP breakouts might be related to me trying to lower dose by myself & having rebound. Will cont to monitor & maybe cut dose very slowly?"

@bonenado has given my Lexxplosion chapter two thumbs up. There is nothing more boring than living with a writer for nearly 22 years and having to extricate from the continual piles of wordy onslaught. Basically, he very rarely reads anything I write, which doesn't bother me because I don't care to know everything about his work and fantasy baseball teams and TV shows I'm not into, right? If he were a blogger, I probably wouldn't read his stuff, either. So for Scott to walk into the room and interrupt me with my headphones on to tell me THAT was good and he even caught himself sitting forward into the screen because he actually got excited over the intensity of the story was probably the single biggest compliment I ever got in my life. I mean, he was there, I'm sure he burned out as much as anyone, so all I expected was "Yeah, it was good" on his way out the door to work on the deck.

It took this aspie 10 years of writing practice, 7 years of counseling with a real psychologist, and 8 years since the event to figure out how to share my feelings about this story and to be able to write it. Well, I could have written it this whole time, but no one would have wanted to read it because I wasn't a whole enough person to tell it yet.

Having Aspergers is no joke. Everything in my life has been hard since I was tiny. I never got handouts, never caught breaks, and everything I've achieved to this point is due to cruelty and stubbornness. I'll be more clear about that later. The Lexxplosion changed everything in my life, put me onto an entirely new path, gave me a reason to fight with everything I have, and what happened that year is just a dang cool story.

I can't say thank you enough to myke for letting me splat myself all over his forum here the last couple of years while I kept working very hard on recovery and rebuilding. I'm not sure how much longer this project will take, but apparently I've finally broken through some kind of final wall and find I'm able to dive freely into the depths now, so I'm not sure when I'll come back up for air. Just in case, thank you to everyone who checks this forum to see what's going on with Pinky. I intend to keep updating on my Pinky blog, but may be taking a personal break from several other medias while I try to get this work finally done. For those interested, the writing Lexxplosion started on April 1st and continued for ten days from there through a most wonderful comorbidity of Aspergers with a hypomania event.

My G+ tagline continues to be relevant. "The real original Janika Banks (grandfortuna.xanga.com) I asploded. I'm ok. Like the Central Intelligence Core of the Krikkit War Computer, I'm everywhere, in the mists all around you.

Click for about.me.

[Pinky]

I was all floaty in my euphoria, and then this happened. O_O You can click that to see it for realz.



Naturally, I think that page makes a great wallpaper. This clicks out to big.



Just one of those lovey-dovey Mondays. I blame Darth Egg. The Dark Side tends to backfire around me for some reason.



It started with a lovefest nearly a week ago and crescendoed into me gushing my luv all over my timeline. So, finis. I will try to give this particular subject a rest now. By the way, thanx to everyone for the coolest biggest day I've ever had on Pinky. You know I love it when you make it weird, guys.