Pinky's Dreams

[Pinky]

Sunday, July 26, 2020

timespace data packets

Originally published here.

I dreamed last night that I was in a time team. There were lots of time teams all over the planet, three to four 'timers' in each group. Our minds were inserted thusly.

Hosts were preset with inoculations to receive incoming from another timespace (not the same as spacetime). Each inoculation contained a chip specifically coded to receive one of several incoming data packets. When the chip was activated, a very long single data stream would download into a preset bracketed area into the coding, like so [enter]. Some bracketed areas looked like ] [ or [[ ]] or something else, depending on the authority level of the incoming, which would activate specific areas of the chip for special ops need-to-know. Timers were lowest level in command units and streamed into [ ]. Each data stream was a quantum buffered memory chain (think some kind of blockchain) that could be sent in any direction in timespace into a new host, as long as it contained a keycode that matched a keycode in the inoculation chip. Each keycode was unique to each individual data stream, and that is how people were able to quantum time travel their consciousness into preexisting hosts.

Time teams were immediately vetted upon entry by two higher level greeters trained in role assignment and team coordination. Here timers would be given their instructions, usually very quickly and possibly even on the run, and then delivered to team captains (assigned) or team leaders (step ups) to complete missions.

Every timer was instructed upon arrival to do only as they were told, mission came first, and to immediately abandon compromised timers and regroup, only goal was to complete the mission at any cost. There were certain rules about timer group behaviors that were trained in before being streamed into timer hosts in order to save time, since timer groups could be breached in progress of data loads. Some timers would stream in and immediately start running for their lives. Terrain and generalized population maps were memorized before streaming in, although depending on the time streamed to, these could be useless. Weapons training, camouflage techniques, and team comms were all trained before streaming. Training happened in military units set up in citizen centers for volunteers.

Team captains and leaders would oversee a number of time teams, sometimes coordinating their missions. Time teams didn't necessarily need to report in unless mission fail was imminent, as too much was happening on too many levels to handle incoming reports. Each time team was expected to be able to complete their missions autonomously, relying only upon their training, mission instructions, and their own judgement. Time teams were expected to resolve problems, regroup, and carry on down to the last team member. Reporting in for mission fail was the only vital feedback, and it was not always possible due to ambushes from rogue teams and players.

Obviously, timespace was being used by rival ops, some to thwart white hat missions, some to recruit, some simply just went rogue. I got no other information in my dream about that.

My time team was ambushed at least three different times, our team captain was slain during a coordinated ambush, the greeters I'd met were both killed, and I think all this happened within about two days to maybe a week. This was a highly detailed very busy dream, which could be fleshed out into a science fiction thriller, but I don't have time for that.

The details about prepping for streaming over through timespace are best guess. I wasn't shown details, but had enough personal experience information during the dream to figure this out. Data streams from original volunteers were not the same as a human really traveling intact through time. We were detailed cognitive copies of human brain activity and function that would be able to survive the data streaming and then apply knowledge to decision making and taking action. Data streaming was one way and only expected to be a short burst of mission activity on the other end, which volunteers would not be able to personally experience. Data streams would become corrupt over very short periods of time, meaning they couldn't be stored and reused, so volunteers by the hundreds and thousands would show up to citizen centers for the military training and reaping of data packets to stream immediately through timespace.

Rogue groups on the far side had also obviously had access to this entire process and were thwarting missions, which meant that highly classified intel was being accessed via mole(s) and rigorously used against the white hat agenda.

Here is the really sad part of the dream. Although I experienced it first person, I cannot remember the mission my time team was given, or any of the other missions relating to ours. I do remember coordinating with other time teams, regrouping our ambushed time team into another team, being very aggressively ambushed with people being murdered right in front of me, the frenzy of escaping, being hunted, hiding, reassessing the mission, making contacts, reconstructing our missions from the scraps we had become, etc. I never thought about getting 'back' because I knew this was a one-off and I couldn't, so I didn't waste my time on it. I suspect many rogues were born from failed missions.

The activity on the far end was also obviously very dangerous and bloody. The hosts we were data streamed into were considered expendable, as were we. I don't recall discussions on ethics bringing up problems with this. My own data stream was a short jump into a future within my own lifetime that had obviously gone very wrong very quickly, nearly all vehicle traffic had been abandoned, large buildings stood derelict, it seemed most of the people could only thrive in small population centers that had gathered into buildings where electric power could still be maintained, and in the dizzy disorientation of culture shock, many of the survivors were playing out a grisly parody of continual party theme, drinking themselves into stupors while they were all dolled up ignoring the horrible calamities that must have happened outside. Our hosts were picked from among these, sobered up, and prepped for incoming. Other population outside of this was very sparse in between survivor buildings, and all human behavioral codes seemed abandoned. Natural order was gone, and all that survived was a nihilistic party gamer attitude.

I'm not sure what the overarching goal was behind the missions, but to go forward into fail could only mean recon and data retrieval on what had gone so horribly wrong. I suspect my time team's mission was infiltrating a high level government building in order to get into a protected internally networked computer system. I suspect the time teams were tasked with getting this system back up and running enough to compile data histories to relay back (somehow, I never found out if information could go the other way) so that revisions could be made on decisions going forward from origination.

It was obviously already too late to change the original fail. There was nothing set up at that point to data stream into, no inoculation chips coded to accept incoming data packets. The only comprehensible move was recon to find out what had gone wrong in order to insert fail-safes in the meantime between point A and point B in linear time. This would mean many time trips as fast as immediately possible in order to secure a crucial time point in which to establish a change that would preempt the complete fail of the original mission. The time teams involved would have to be extremely numerous for such a vast recon, especially with players going off mission and sabotaging time teams.

This seemed to be a very brutal time war with uncountable loops and resets that could only be managed by a very secure quantum artificial intelligence.

I have nothing else to add from here.

[Pinky]

the shallow water

Originally posted on 11-7-16 Janika at 4:02:00 AM

Alternative Gothic Santa Christmas by leather_and_lace

In case you're wondering if blogger will publish a completely empty page that hasn't been touched yet, why yes, yes it will. Sorry about that. A few people subbed in email or on the feedburner for immediate delivery may have gotten some kind of alert.

The last thing I was dreaming as I bolted awake (thank you, daylight savings, I'm back to bolting awake before 4 a.m.) was a neat little gizmo for media sharing that digitally mimicked a projector screen, meaning you could click it to roll it in or out. My dad had the whole setup when I was little, projector, home screen on a tripod, boxes and boxes of slides. The setting up the pole and screen holder seemed to add a magical air when Dad would pull the screen down out of the retractor.

click to get lost in pinterest (edit: link isn't there any more)

By the way, actual projector screens are still a big thing. I had no idea there was such a big selection. I mean, I see them on TV in corporate spy type movies, so I guess there's a whole world of screenmanship I miss in my daily life.
Projector Screen Store

Ok, some of you are probably trying to tell me that digital projector screens are already a thing, and I hear you, yes, I've seen them. But this was very differently coded for user friendliness and ease of control, plus it allowed sharing of as many media files as one wanted without the cumbersome loading slowing down a page problem. Some of you are still jumping up and down trying to tell me this is already a thing. I know, sweethearts, I have tried out and used a few on different blogs over time, it's not a new idea. In fact, I miss the much older ones that no one supports any more because they are too hacker friendly.

click to get cool Christmas cards (edit: site is gone now)

This wasn't iframes, it wasn't an html embed, it was completely new and different. It allowed input anywhere you could put text without having to use a widget plugin (I've got your attention now) (yes, wouldn't this be fun for highly restricted editors like facebook or wordpress headers), and it could be manually manipulated by the reader without losing place on a page or opening up a new page. It was as simple as 'click to read more' but with its own editor for viewing pleasure.

Say you'd like to share items from several sources (stop thinking storyboards and slideshows, hang on, I'm word fumbling over coffee) without having to manually input code. All you would have to do is make a click trail of what you want readers to be able to access in digital storage, and your click trail would 'load' the projector. You could choose whether to allow downloading and even photoshopping within the projector, it would have its own inbuilt tracker (who viewed) and shout box, and some of you are facepalming because I'm still describing what's already out there. No I'm not. You guys are used to browser hosts doing this.

clicks to an awesomely cool site

Ok, lemme make it simpler. Imagine if you could snip a chunk of facebook that you really like and share it outside of facebook. Just pull it out like a plugin and put it on a blog or on twitter or into an email in one or two clicks without having to code. Imagine having doohickey powers without having to know how doohickeys work.

I feel like I'm epic failing this dream share. I keep asking myself what was so amazing about this dream, how do I express it in a blog post. I keep wanting to find that one sentence that makes me feel like I adequately related this cool vision and every time I write more, I see all the stuff crowd in that misleads. I think what I'm saying is that the intuitive built-in coding would allow such ease of use and access without compromising safety that the world would just be blown away, and it would change media hosting and sharing as we know it. Static storage would become quaint.

much more coolness when clicked (edit: page is gone now)

Back to an older dream (edit: in the above post) about the browser landscape. I'm getting email offers now to sign up to be paid (kickbacks) for browsing. Did I call it? Someone's been working on this, and I dreamed it. If they really do ever come out with a shareable mapping tool for personalization and monetization, it starts with this kind of stuff.

[Pinky]

full blast

Originally posted on 9-28-16 Posted by Janika at 4:48:00 AM

click for more cool wallpapers

I dreamed last night that you could choose to allow your overall web activity to be incorporated into an exciting new 'site map' of all your presence, kind of like a map, called your landscape. It was a new form of monetizing that everyone could easily use. Say you shopped JCPenney and several other places online, they would become little markers in your activity terrain and if your followers ping over to shopping from your markers, you get coupons and little kickbacks for future purchases. It looked like a real map that you could set up to look like fantasy, western, pirate, etc, and every day your map would look like you traveled some more.

There are people out there making six figures to sit around tables thinking up stuff like that. And then there's me seeing it all in my head like it already exists somewhere. I wish I could press my head to the screen and file share.

[Pinky]

From what if we're all social plugins on pinky blog, 5-31-15




Startled awake on the couch from a trans-universal migration (third awesome dream of the night) and realized when I saw a still unturned on coffee pot after 5 a.m. that Scott must've forgotten to set his alarm, so I was all oh-no hustling around because he has to be to work by 6, he stumbled out and let me know it's Sunday, and after the coffee was done I dumped the sugar bowl out (ironically use only a quarter teaspoon in my coffee), and THEN I discovered that a couple of my facebook social plugins aren't working on my Lexxperience blog, and it's not even 6 a.m. yet. This morning has been entirely too exciting.

Seriously, a trans-universal migration. Something about people mysteriously dying on my homeworld and scientists coming together from several fields were figuring out the root cause had something to do with dark matter corrupting the integrity of electron shells (I wasn't on earth, I don't apologize for that). Since this was affecting everything in the universe, they had to find a way to migrate into another universe, and invented this awesome don't know if you'd call it a viewer or scope or what, but it allowed the scientists to see across the branes and narrow down several other universes to migrate to. They divided up and educated the people, each group according to where they were going, and for some reason I got bumped out of one group into another (I blame my kindergarten and first grade teachers for entrenching that anxiety deeply into my soul) and wound up being the only successful migrant into a particular universe right into the middle of several fleets of beings who'd integrated and were themselves in a migration to a different part of a galaxy. No wonder I woke up so disoriented, right?




You can see why I'm so frustrated with scifi on television and rarely read books any more. My dreams are like being there.

And writing it down helps my brain settle back into the mundane, and it won't be long until my tummy reminds me I had plans to make ham and cheese omelettes this morning.

I never told you guys the dream where physicists had figured out we actually can create more universes from inside this one because all we had to do was figure out the universal code and rewrite it, then do a weird copy/paste maneuver with this gigantic super equipment, and voila, like Sims creating new game plugins for themselves or something.

[Pinky]

From "how sweet to be an idiot" on Feb. 22, 2014

Note before I paste: I never intended to become a depression blogger, but writing these things down turns out to be inspiring for others stuck in dark places. Dreams are important. I believe communication is more free when we aren't 'stuck' in our waking consciousness. I believe (especially with experience) that we can focus this by spending a few moments before falling asleep focusing on particular questions we have, and consciously thinking about the answers we'd like to find. We're often too distracted during our waking hours to go 'inside' and let our minds do what they do best. This particular writeup isn't about the dream itself so much as the impact it has had on the rest of my life.

Today a funny little trick happened, like a hug. I didn't catch it until this afternoon.

Ten years ago some interesting stuff happened for awhile to several people in the family after she passed on. One thing in particular that happened here the very first week was my computer abruptly saying "Goodbye" and waking me up from a nap as it suddenly logged itself off AOL, and within seconds my phone rang, and the call was from the school about my very sick kid. The timing was so precise, and it seemed so perfect after spending a year sitting up on the computer with her through sleepless nights while she was very sick.

This morning I had barely gotten started working on my laptop when it abruptly shut off. It doesn't normally do that. Today would have been her birthday. So my way of saying hi back to her is with a quote she was fond of, and a special smiley that she used. " How sweet to be an idiot and dip my brain in joy."

She was far from being an idiot. She liked taunting me with cute things she could make her pictures and text do in forums, and laughed when I asked how she did stuff on her little websites. She died before I ever found out her secrets. I had no clue how to do those things. One evening before I fell asleep I asked her to show me her secrets in a dream. I started having some fantastic dreams.

And then I started doing cool stuff on the computer. She is my mentor even still. Everything that I do should be good for people somehow. What she invented she did to escape the drudgery of living through pain and dealing with fear. Even when she was only a child she was already so very good at that. I've spent many years trying to reach a level of fun distraction that will never equal hers. I can't help sliding back into my drudgery. I know we all have a hard time with that.

One of my favorite quotes is from C.S. Lewis- "Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind." I believe that, but I want to do as much as I can before I have to be done here, even if being here sux.

This song gets me through a lot of hard stuff and makes me feel better. It's easy to forget day by day that there is more than this stuff we are stuck in, but every time I remember how quickly this part is flashing by me, it's much easier to focus back on what I want to get done.

[Pinky]

I last posted in this thread over 2 years ago. I've been thinking about finding all my scattered dreams on the webs and collecting them here. We'll see what I find.

[Pinky]

tense brothel dream

Originally posted on 8-24-16.

Caution for triggers. I can't explain dreams like these, but I have looked into remote experiencing during dreams for several years. I never get names and locations, just experiences.

Last night I was an aging kitchen and laundry (it felt like) overseer in a large gentleman's Chinese brothel, and I'm not talking like in the movies. This was real grunge behind the scenes stuff, very realistic. I knew the entire building inside and out, I knew all the people who worked there, and even though I wasn't a boss, I was respected because I kept order.

But this evening there wasn't order. A recently gone famous pop artist had just walked into the restaurant area with his new very young model bride, and one of the slightly aging performers (background dancer/singer type) in really pretty costuming suddenly threw an absolute fit, screaming how could he, how could he turn to someone else after all the nasty kinds of sex he had made her do with him (during which she evidently must've fallen in love with him), and since I was walking through checking table setting perfection and closest to her, I walked up to where she was nearly now screaming in the pop star's face (everyone's eyes were really big, bad public behavior, bad taste, bad luck all around, no one had ever gunned the place up but didn't mean it wouldn't happen) and put my arm around her waist and then walked between them turning her around. I didn't even look at anyone else, just her like she was the only one in the world and guided her away sobbing, sweetly reminding her that we don't break the rules here, and it's ok if clients do what they want, got her escorted into another area and handed her off, all the while she's having this emotional breakdown and I knew she was ruined now, and they'd either kill her or finish breaking her for some other kind of work. The best I could do was remove her from my floor before I would get in trouble, too, just being in her vicinity.

[Pinky]

the blobs from space dream

Originally posted on 10-29-14.

I'm only minutes out of a dream where giant bugs from a space infestation took over our entire planet and they used their collective hive mind and ingenious nanorobotics to quickly take over our food supply from raw earth to finished product. It still all basically looked the same, but every single bite of food we were stuck eating was molecularly contorted and embued with giant bug something, and it was mutating all of us into a giant sticky mass of collective thought, literally. I remember picking through a few items in a cafeteria and spitting stuff out, I remember finding a few survivors scrounging for old outdated food in garbage heaps that hadn't yet been incinerated, and I remember an attack we coordinated on one of the giant blobs that was filling up a whole university and ingesting students and faculty into its collective. I remember it oozed around my foot and I could hear other people's thoughts for a brief second before I yanked my foot loose with a big sucky squelching noise, and I lost my shoe to its stickiness. I ran really hard across a lawn to another building and up some stairs, and that's about where I woke up.

[Pinky]

moonlight and stars

Originally posted on Pinky blog.

Antibiotic brain after I unfollowed a bunch accounts again this last month, right? I almost kept the steampunk account but decided it was too sexist because no men or machinery, just beautiful women, which I'm not against at all, but it was disappointing me.

So last night I dreamed I was decked out full blown steampunk, lotta awesome and looking hella cool, and especially my marcasite boots. Yes, you heard me, marcasite. Solid marcasite. Yes, the entire boot. In case you are not familiar with marcasite, the boots would look the same as this stuff. Click to see way more, that is a really conservative start.

And I was late for a final college exam with a visiting friend in tow (another account I might have unfollowed?), some guy from some country who I couldn't tell was crushing on or using me to step up to the next level somehow, and the final consisted of doing surgery, which was funny because I had told someone at my dad's house to hang on because I would be back after class to do surgery on him after a weird accident that had blown some twisted parts into his gut.

Anyway, there was running through buildings because parking is never close, and it was raining, and one of the classes along the way was a Stargate class full of awesome stuff (ok, that one I got, pretty sure that dream thing came from @thegatecast wishing me a happy birthday this week). And of course I left my lab tools at home, so I had to use the nearly useless generic equipment scrounged up around class (I really do have lab surgical tools in my real house), but I still pulled off a successful surgery, and then I remember facepalming and having to tell my friend to put his pants back on, after which he valiantly (very publicly awkwardly) proposed and I suggested maybe we get a hamburger and think about it because I was starving.

And then I woke up.

So what does marcasite represent? I used to work a jewelry counter, and I've handled and worn a lot of marcasite, really love it.
Marcasite- Healing Properties, Color, Power & Facts | Jewelexi

"Choosing to consciously make new experiences rugged looking Marcasite has a multiple personalities. This dark, grey-pyrite helps the wearer to walk through new doorways to philosophical and reflective change. It is also believed to infuse courage in the wearing individual and is referred to as "fool's gold". Known to be a desirable gemstone among people, it is as well acknowledged as pyrite because of its same chemical formula though has different crystal system and inherent qualities.

...Made up of iron sulphide, it is an interesting mineral that has been confused with other types of minerals for generations. Known to be a brittle stone it can crumble easily and is lighter than pyrite. Usually yellow in color, this striking stone has a brassy look added to it. With a twinned crystal habit, this unique distinctive gemstone occurs when the surface to form the head of a hen. Mythologically associated with pyrite like properties, it is well known among Chinese, Greeks and Mayans for thousands of years. Having a calming effect, Marcasite attracts wealth and inspire creativity. It frees the wearing individual from the feelings of hopelessness, over-sensitiveness and help to re-calibrate, re-assess, re-design, release, and reincarnation. Being gentle with the wearer's body, it holds on the wearer grounded as well as balanced."

Sounds about right. I didn't even know that. There's lots more if you want to click over and read it.

And it was on my FEET. Wonder what that means.
What does it mean to dream about Shoes?

"A dream about shoes may symbolize how you are moving forward on your career path or spiritual path in life.

May represent your understanding of something, since your shoes are under you when you stand."

There's lots more about whether the shoes fit, where you're wearing them, if you change shoes in a dream, losing or forgetting them, and the type of shoe. For instance, mine were boots.

"Boots may symbolize taking a firm stand on something; or it may be a pun on ÔÇ£getting the bootÔÇØ or getting fired. ÔÇ£These Boots are Made for WalkingÔÇØ also comes to mind."

So I'm walking around in these magical healing boots doing surgeries. Sure, why not. I'll take it.

That guy, though. Really not interested in that way, and seriously could not tell if he had an agenda behind all the pizzazz, so I just let him tag along at arm's length, because I did enjoy him. Not exactly the greatest person to arrive late with to a surgery exam though.

[Pinky]

revolutionizing mass entertainment

Originally posted on Pinky blog.

Last night I dreamed that code readers revolutionized the home theater industry. You no longer had to stream or buy discs, just get this cool code reader, kind of like they have in offices, and pick an episode or movie from a little stack of plastic sheets. It would read and process into watchable format within 5 minutes and was extremely cheap, making it so easy for every household to simply own and pass around everything that's ever been filmed. I can see this being a huge deal if anything ever were to happen to satellite radio transmission for some reason and anything streaming going dark.

Was yapping away the other day about how nice it would be if someone would come up with the idea for entertainment brokering. It's insane having all these different companies and packages and having to invest so much money in one show here and another show there. I live in a big tourist area, I see how they put together personalized packages. Or like health care, you can also do that with health and prescription supplement plans. You go into a office and say my life is like this and I need this and this, the person details a plan out to suit your needs, right? Why not do the same with entertainment? You want one show off HBO, another off Hulu or Netflix, a few things off cable or satellite, and something offered through Amazon or BBC or sports, an entertainment broker puts exactly what you want together into a personalized package, and you can adjust the package monthly, like you do a cell phone plan or something. How hard can that possibly be? All you have to do is centralize an outlet through brokers that can cross all the streams pulling stuff for you.

[Pinky]

activity terrain in user landscapes

Also posted on Pinky blog.

click for more cool wallpapers

I dreamed last night that you could choose to allow your overall web activity to be incorporated into an exciting new 'site map' of all your presence, kind of like a map, called your landscape. It was a new form of monetizing that everyone could easily use. Say you shopped JCPenney and several other places online, they would become little markers in your activity terrain and if your followers ping over to shopping from your markers, you get coupons and little kickbacks for future purchases. It looked like a real map that you could set up to look like fantasy, western, pirate, etc, and every day your map would look like you traveled some more.

There are people out there making six figures to sit around tables thinking up stuff like that. And then there's me seeing it all in my head like it already exists somewhere. I wish I could press my head to the screen and file share.

[myke]

Working at the Geek Squad, I have had multiple ipad and iphone users ask me about this "critical low storage" problem. they delete their apps, clear the cache, and still the free space continues to get smaller. I discovered after connecting to a pc via USB cable with itunes and performing the sync operation, this issue seams to get fixed. Although the sync operation itself dose not remove any data that I can tell, the unit seams like it can shed info it has been clinging to for ever, after the and waiting a few hours, the free space might begin to increase. Some days later you might see the free space continuing to increase. I have had people come to me weeks later and report that their free space is still increasing, to as much as 4 GB in some cases.

Oh and I love and miss SGA also

Hope this helps you or someone.

myke

[Pinky]

Zelenka

This dream was first posted 10-20-15.

My phone keeps warning me that storage is critically low. Every warning goes down to a new lower number, even though I faithfully clean and purge and wipe and restart- we're getting into the 19 mg free range now. Yeah, I'd say that's critical. I've eeked so much extra life outa this phone, far beyond its life expectancy.

That reminds me of a dream I had years ago during my cave days, when I was taking a break from the internet. I had bought the Stargate Atlantis set so I could marathon at my convenience, and who knows what kicked this off, I know I was complaining back then of xanax making my dreams way too vivid and real and barely slept because sometimes they got so terrifying or sad that I just couldn't, so when I did sleep, I DREAMED. Maybe my brain was super dreaming trying to catch up from all the insomnia, who knows.

At any rate, Zelenka had been dropped off on very small satellite station orbiting some ancient and now extinct planet or other, and was going to be picked back up in about 12 days. He had the long and tedious job of getting all systems back up, restored to original capacity (if possible), backed up, and then start on assessment and interpretation until rendezvous time. It was a really boring dream for the longest time, just watching a guy in a spacesuit reconfigure systems until he reached a point of being able to take off the suit, and then keep working on debugging and reinstallation for nonworking parts, just really intricate and tedious. And then something went wrong. Something always goes wrong. Power went completely out in a tiny station nearly out of everything consumable, including air and ecosystem control like heat, and after about 6 hours of clamping everything down into sheer survival mode, there was nothing to do at all but sit still and just wait to be picked up.

Of course in my dream I could see the calculating going on in his mind, and knew he knew he'd be long dead before they got back. There was just no way to beat time passing, no tricks to pull out of a sleeve, no magic hat of ideas, just nothing left and no way to contact anyone. Just be still and relax, use as little air as possible and let his body go into hypothermia as slowly as possible.

I was upset in my dream. I wasn't corporeal, I wasn't even me. I don't know what I was. Just an observer of a fictional character. I felt so frustrated. Usually in dreams, by this point, I either know I'm dreaming (I didn't know this time) or I figure out I can push in and do something (I didn't realize I was 'there' to do anything). I've been lucid dreaming since I was a toddler, so looking back on this is really odd how stuck I felt not realizing I could maneuver as an entity in any way. I only felt frustrated.

Time passed. I hovered around, in and out of the station, watching him go unconscious, watching the stars, watching the planet rotate. Nothing else happening. I hovered back into his head, and he was nearly gone. I knew all it would take was one transmission to get someone back there, even though they were impossibly far away, because the tech they used allowed that kind of travel, but there was no way I could send a transmission, even if the tech was working, because I didn't know how. At this point in the dream I actually tried fiddling with some switches in the dark. Of course nothing happened. I have no idea if it would've looked like the switches were flipping themselves, I didn't dream of me actually being there.

I made a decision to go find the people who'd dropped him off and tell them to come get him. That part was easy. All I had to do was slip back through time to when they dropped him off and left and tag it, kind of like tagging a piece of code, and then doing a search later for the tag and the highlight taking you right to it. (Don't ask, I've been dreaming like this for a long time.) So bing, next thing I was hovering around a busy deck full of people and no way to communicate. I told you this dream was long. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to say even just his name (I couldn't, I had no way to vocalize) or get his name onto a screen (I couldn't, I have severe symbol fail in dreams, I can't type or spell or keep numbers straight). I finally got so frustrated that I just pushed into someone's head and screamed ZELENKA, and she dropped the stuff she was holding, and from there was about an hour-long fight to get a single idea through to her to the crew. All I needed to communicate was GO BACK NOW. That was ridiculously difficult. But once that got through, they did go get him, barely in the nick of time. He'd already stopped breathing and was close to brain death, but they did manage to pull a rescue and eventually get him healed to full capacity.

That dream was obviously about my own brain trying to repair and communicate. I yap all the time about my glitchy brain. I had that dream during probably the blackest part of my existence. During the dream it really did feel like long hours and days were passing, but I don't think I slept more than 4 hours max, more likely 2 or 3. I very clearly remember that dream but still have memory problems around real life during that time frame. I've actually had to draw out a timeline for reference, make a list of dates, and go back through old blogs at least once a month trying to keep my life straight, but I remember that dream in great detail. That was my brain showing me how it was working on its own repair, connecting disrupted synapses, giving me context for what was going on in my real life inside my own head.

Neat, huh?

Think about it. My brain cells were able to give me a picture of their existence.



:edit: one hour later

O.M.G. "I was upset in my dream. I wasn't corporeal, I wasn't even me. I don't know what I was. Just an observer of a fictional character. I felt so frustrated."

Guys- that is my brain talking. My consciousness is the fictional character to my brain.

Just- wow.

[Pinky]

Interplanetary Tourism

This dream was first posted on 1-11-15.

I dreamed last night that we (my immediate and extended family on my side) were tourists on another planet, and one of the cool things to see was a gigantic 25 story building in the middle of a very strange and beautiful 'jungle' of wispy alien stuff. Every level in the building was a whole mini town, with lots of shops and things to do, places to eat, medical stuff, etc. We had to go up to the top on a very slow elevator that took a couple of hours, something about pressurizing. The top floor was awesome, but since we weren't used to such a different pressure, we couldn't stay long. When we reached our time limit, our chests would get tight and it would feel like we couldn't breathe or our hearts would explode.

Well, burrito ran off... We fanned out, I texted out that I found her and that I'd meet everyone at a lower level, so they went on ahead. Except my sister. As I was headed back across the 'town', I saw her go into one of the medical places. I knew she'd be ok there, so I kept going. My chest started getting really tight, and I tried to call out and couldn't, which didn't matter because the town curfew was on and the place looked empty. I just kept walking, not sure if burrito could take much more, either.

Made it to the elevator. They said since I'd gone over time that I would have to ride down way slower and stop an hour at each level till I got to level 3, so I spent the rest of my dream in a great big elevator going really really slow with nothing to do.

I wish I could press my head against my laptop and transfer all the neat stuff I saw in my dream. In some ways it was like any kind of tourism, but in other ways it was so alien and cool everywhere I turned, all different from anything we've seen on this earth. If I tried to describe everything I've seen in my dreams through my life that I've never seen on a TV or in a movie, I'd never be able to stop writing. I have no idea how so much new stuff shows up in my head, and I usually remember most of it.

I'm sure walking all over two hospitals the other day had a lot to do with this dream, as does having a holter monitor on again this weekend, but other than that, whatever the time limits were about had more to do with the alien planet than anything going on here when I'm awake. I think me calling out across the curfewed town is my twitter app crash on my phone. It's been weird not being able to tweet whenever I want.

[Pinky]

The Inverse Incursion

Last night's dream was a neverending blitz after blitz and people running. It started with living in a big communal building about 4 or 5 floors up, my rooms were on the outermost corner of the main street side. It was like apartments had been gutted out and sort of repartitioned, no more locked doors, everyone was in the same boat, all work together through daily living kind of thing. Families intermingled, children especially coming and going as they played, and before it all started I remember several different supper smells going on and about ten people coming together for a meal in the rooms I lived in.

I happened to look out the window and caught a glimpse of a military ranked helio transport gunner and thought hell... I yelled for everyone to get to the inner rooms just as the blasting started, taking out the fronts of building all up and down the street, and the only reason we got away was because we were the last in the shooting lineup. Everyone knew their designated safe areas, top priority being inside and down, because the further into the building you could get, the more likely you would survive frontal assault. Everyone knew this. It didn't stop people from jumping out windows and hauling ass out doors and scattering across the streets, and as I got near the building center, a hole blasted through and I could see why- the entire building was being razed. Time to abandon the building.

One guy and I in particular wound up running the same direction. We'd known each other for years, each with our own families, each watching our families get picked and killed off over the years. We'd learned to cooperate through a number of challenges, but that never seemed to make us friends. We kept an inherent distrust in place between us, probably assuming it was an emotional safety mechanism. I didn't think about it beyond that. By the time I cleared the building, I knew my family hadn't, and by the time he caught up with me, I knew his hadn't, either. Everyone knew you never went back. Never looked back. The only way to keep surviving was to keep finding holes, keep running, keep looking ahead. People would drift from shattered groups to new groups, and groups were always changing. Everyone knew that.

He was easy to work with in crisis. He knew all the shortcut lingo, all the gestures, almost like we could read each other's minds. We both instinctively headed for higher ground just outside the residential district so we could look back and assess what had happened and maybe guess what would be coming next. The gaping carnage glancing back told us it was far from over, and as smaller helios spread out dropping teams nearby, we knew we had to breach whatever boundary they were about to set up as quickly as possible.

That meant changing direction and heading for the government buildings. A few of the closer refugees were already flooding into the front desk areas, so it was easy to duck in among them and then duck back out into back hallways and head for certain offices. I was surprised to notice he seemed to know the hallways as well as I did. Maybe better.

We managed to avoid being noticed, kept moving, ducking in and out of offices and hallways as the mad scramble for control of the surging masses emptied nearly all personnel areas. I'm not ashamed to say I grabbed as many snacks as I could stuff into my shirt from a break room, and nearly carried out a pot of coffee, but decided against it and set it down on a counter by the door as I glanced up and down the hallway. He was coming out of an office nearly opposite and motioned me over, whispered in my ear that what he'd found on a computer cinched what we'd been guessing- this was a coup. Collateral damage would be rampant, and this and other government buildings were probably next on the agenda. Apparently some of the personnel were figuring that out, too, and we ducked into their panicky race to flee their own building, getting outside in full view without a single glance our way.

I had about reached mind blown stage by the time we cleared the building and made it past a parking lot and a greenway, finally alone again. This guy. Who was he? And I guess he was arriving there, too, as we both reached for each other's shirts, got in each other's faces, suddenly demanding answers. I never got them. I woke up. But clearly we'd both worked as civil authority, clearly we'd both disappeared from our jobs and holed up hiding, and very clearly we had no clue whether we would kill each other or not. I realized I actually cared about this guy, didn't want to kill him, could probably be good friends with him, and maybe that's why he hesitated, too.

And that's all I know. I woke up, I'm here and not there, and I'll never know what happened. It felt too real to just make up the rest.